Is Your Libido Lower? 5 Tips To Reconnect With Your Partner


Many women going through the menopause transition are no strangers to a loss of libido. But if that’s not something you identify with realise that not everyone will experience this symptom. Some ladies experience an increase in desire.

If your sexual desire has waned, however, it can be very detrimental to relationships. We can’t tell you how often we’ve heard that women make up excuses to go to bed later than their partner because they would much rather – say – do the dishes than contemplate lovemaking.

Why Has My Sexual Desire Left The Building?

The culprits are usually decreasing sex hormone levels – estrogen and testosterone, which can also lead to a dry vah-jay-jay and painful sex. Estrogen is our ‘juice’ and declining levels can cause a diminished blood supply and loss of lubrication in the vagina.

Couple that with common signs such as feeling depressed and anxious, or experiencing hot flushes and weight gain and it’s no surprise that you might not be feeling sexy.

There is no hard and fast rule regarding menopause and sex, which encompasses sex during perimenopause and sex after menopause. Just like everyone’s libido is individual to them so is their menopausal journey!

5 Tips To Help Your Libido


1. Talk to your partner

Communication is key. Your signifcant other isn’t going to know what’s going on if you don’t tell them. 

2. Get intimate rather than sexual

Sex isn’t the only way to express your love, affection and sexuality. Stroking, kissing, hugging, taking a walk together, having a date night may all help to fan the flames.

3. Use a lubricant

Vaginal dryness affects women of all ages so there are quite a few varieties of lubricant out there. Experts recommend using a water-based option as they’re easy to wash off. However, there is also a place for oil-based lubricants like natural coconut and avocado oil as well as commercial varieties. The caution here is that they may affect condom strength. A tried and true option is Sylk which is water-based and uses a Kiwifruit exact, Good Clean Love – 95% organic water-based, and Replens silicon-based long-lasting moisturiser which lasts for up to three days.

Sylk New Zealand
Replens New Zealand

Sylk Australia
Replens Australia

4. Movement

Whether you walk, lift weights, dance, swim or climb mountains moving your body gets the endorphins flowing and helps you feel better. And if you want to get your sexual desire going you need to feel good. This study showed that exercise can be beneficial in some cases of female sexual dysfunction. Research also showed that the positive body image exercise can produce improved sexual wellbeing.

5. Take 40+/55+

During clinical trials, the EstroG-100 in both 40+ and 55+ was shown to significantly improve vaginal dryness. You can grab some here.
Photos by Mikhail Nilov from Pexels

Disclaimer: Our articles are for information only and intended to inform from a holistic point of view. They should not take the place of medical advice. Certain diet and exercise practises may be beneficial for the majority of people but could have potential risks for others. If you are contemplating lifestyle changes or you have ongoing concerns please consult your healthcare provider.

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This is the time when menstruation is well and truly over, the ovaries have stopped producing high levels of sex hormones and for many ladies, perimenopause symptoms subside.

Estrogen has protective qualities and the diminished levels mean organs such as your brain, heart and bones become more vulnerable. It’s also a key lubricant so your lips may become drier, your joints less supple and your vagina might be drier. In addition, your thyroid, digestion, insulin, cortisol and weight may alter.

At this juncture, a woman might experience an increase in the signs of reduced estrogen but she should have a decrease of perimenopause symptoms. That said, some women will experience symptoms like hot flushes for years or even the rest of their lives.


Peri = ‘near’

Most females begin to experience the symptoms of perimenopause in their mid-forties. Your progesterone levels decline from your mid-30s but it’s generally from around 40 that the rest of your sex hormones begin to follow suit. 

Perimenopause is a different experience for every woman and some women may barely notice it. The first indicators are usually changes to the monthly cycle. This means that for some ladies, this can be accompanied by things like sore breasts, mood swings, weight gain around the belly, and fatigue as time goes on.

For those with symptoms it can be a challenging time physically, mentally and emotionally.

Importantly, perimenopause lasts – on average – four to 10 years. The transition is usually a gradual process and many women enter perimenopause without realising.